I am really starting to test the patience of my wife when it comes to my poker playing. This month in particular, I've been pushing very hard to squeeze in as many table hours as possible, both live and online, both cash games and tournaments. The time constraints and stress of playing may be taking their toll.
Last night I was 5 tabling $3/$6 6 max where no table had a VPIP less than the high 40s. Some also had fairly high aggression. These kinds of great games will naturally result in a higher number of bad beats and huge variance. I'm sure you can see where this is heading. I really let my guard down, and started to mutter my old line "I can't believe it" after taking beats only as bad as 3 or 4 outers whenever there was a sizable pot.
About 2 hours into the session, (after saying "I can't believe it" no less than half a dozen times), I took a runner runner hit on a pot where I had 97% pot equity on the flop and the pot had 27BB in on the turn. (It may have been slightly less than 97% PE because only 2 opponents saw the river with me - both opponents needed runner runner on the flop, although I'm guessing that 1 other player had a runner runner draw on the flop as well) I've said before how I like the PokerACE feature of flashing mucked hands on the river, but in this case it quickly showed the degree of misfortune. My wife happening to be walking very close by my desk at that particular moment when I blurted out my "I can't believe it", and she said "don't you get tired of saying that?". It was a moment of weakness for me, and I retorted with some smart ass remark. It didn't strike me until much later how bad it was for me to say that to my wife. Gosh, it breaks my heart when I do something like that.
If I consider things from a certain point of view, I could rationalize "legitimate" reasons for pushing so many table hours. However, just to use an old cliche, perhaps I am losing sight of the big picture.
We are quite comfortable financially, and earning an extra $50 or $100 a day doesn't make that much difference. Especially since the money isn't really going towards "us", but really just into the poker bankroll.
I should not be rushing so much. I started playing poker about 16 months ago, and I have been very inefficient during that time. Perhaps that is part of the reason why I am so eager now? I should not be sweating it if I am proceeding in a manner which is 20% or 30% less than optimal. There is no rush. Cool down.