Funny lines at the poker table

Everyone who has played poker for a while has said or heard some very funny things at the table. Often times, when it is repeated to someone else it doesn't sound quite as funny. Anyway, someone said something today that I found totally hilarious, but it is one of those "you had to be there" to truly appreciate the humor.

I'm just going to record it here because I will have a good laugh any time I look back at this entry.

The comment was made by Mr. Cool after playing hand #2 with Mr. Donkey

hand #1 - no guts no glory?
It is early in a $500+50 NLHE live tournament - level 3 (50/100 blinds), avg chips is ~3100, 148/151 players remaining. Mr. Dealer is in SB w ~4500, Mr. Homeboy is in BB w avg chips, Mr. Donkey is in UTG+1 with ~5500 chips (accumulated, yes, by playing as a big donkey), Mr. Shortstack is in MP+1 w ~700 chips.
- Mr. Donkey open limps in UTG+1, folded to Mr. Shortstack in MP+1 who calls, folded to Mr. Dealer in SB who calls, Mr. Homeboy checks in BB. (pot size 400, 4 players)
- flops comes 5d6c7c. SB (Mr. Dealer) thinks for 8 seconds and pushes all in for ~4400 and says "it is too early to gamble". Mr. Homeboy thinks for 10 seconds and folds (what he later claimed to be KcTc). Mr. Donkey goes into the tank for 3 minutes. By this time, Mr. Dealer is muttering something about calling the clock on the guy, when Mr. Donkey calls the all in. Mr. Shortstack mutters that he now has no choice but to call as well. (main pot ~2500, side pot ~7400, 3 players)
Mr. Dealer turns over 8h9d for the nut straight
Mr. Donkey turns over 9h9s for an overpair and a gutshot
Mr. Shortstack turns over Ad8d for an open ended, 2 overcards and a backdoor flush draw.
- turn comes blank, and river comes a blank club. Mr. Dealer pulls down a ~10k pot.

hand #2
3 hands later.
- folded to the blinds. Mr. Donkey completes in the SB. Mr. Cool checks in the BB. (pot size 200, 2 players)
- flop comes 3c6cJc. Mr. Donkey checks, Mr. Cool bets 200. Mr. Donkey folds.

Mr. Cool says, "I decided to steal it because Mr. Donkey's got no heart."

I guess you had to be there....